The following gallows humor is circulating on the Internet and bringing cheer to many of us:
Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic here.
~There isn’t any iceberg.
~There was an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean.
~The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
~There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg.
~We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly.
~The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg.
~We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat,
and they are beautiful lifeboats.
~Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them.
~We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors.
~Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.
~I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats.
~We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers’ lifeboats.
~The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.
~Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.