The following gallows humor is circulating on the Internet and bringing cheer to many of us:

Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic here.

~There isn’t any iceberg. 

~There was an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean.

~The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.

~There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg.

~We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly.

~The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg.

~We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat,

and they are beautiful lifeboats.

~Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them.

~We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors.

~Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.

~I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats.

~We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers’ lifeboats.

~The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.

~Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.

Author unknown